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When Sara Kaplan was pregnant with her first child, she remembers thinking that she didn't want to give birth to any sons. She hadn't grown up with brothers, so she didn't know how she would ever go about raising a boy. Even though the sonogram at her doctor's appointment revealed that she could eventually be giving birth to a daughter, no one had any chance of predicting that her daughter would later ask to be considered her son instead.
Kaplan's firstborn son was just in second grade when he'd gotten into a fight at school and had to talk to his teacher about his wanting to be a boy. His mother was told this by a close friend of her son's just moments before he revealed the news himself.
"I felt like my brain was exploding," Kaplan recalled, "but I just said 'OK' [to my son's friend] and went to find [my son's] teachers.
It was during this impromptu parent-teacher-student conference that Kaplan's son openly declared, "I want to have a boy name, and a boy haircut, and boy clothes."
Everyone else present simply said, "Great, you can be whoever you want; we support you."
Kaplan, however, remembers that although she was "completely cool, calm, and collected even though inside [she] felt like [her] head was spinning Exorcist-style." There was too much news and new information being revealed to her, all at once.
As Kaplan and her son left school that day, Kaplan recalls a moment that she still, to this day, considers "a gift from God."
A transgender woman walked past them. Kaplan watched the person pass, then watched her son "look this person up and down and then just look at [her] and [give her] the biggest grin."
Even if she had a choice about whether or not she would support her child, Kaplan knew from that moment on that she would dedicate her life to relearn how to parent her new son.
This conscious decision ultimately meant calling family before a party later that week to reveal that her son was transitioning, mourning the death of her daughter, and figuring out the proper pronouns and names to call her son. To this day, Kaplan and her husband continue to wrangle with the "birth" of their son and aim to be "mindful of speaking" whenever they communicate.
Although Kaplan's efforts to speak about and share her experience with others have been met with some resistance, she remains steadfast in her unwavering support for her son.
"When Heart transitioned, he became a different kid. He was so much more comfortable, so much lighter, and so much happier. My child is special, not because he is a transgender boy, but because of his profound empathy, bravery, and emotional wisdom," she said. "Our 8-year-old warrior is fighting to be himself. And we are standing by him as his allies."
