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The Bakers – Chad and Stacey, both 42 – grew up in Iowa and married in 2004. The beginning of their family story is very traditional; they both came from small towns and worked hard after their wedding to develop careers they were passionate about.
After three years, the couple decided to begin trying to have children. Their first miscarriage happened in 2007, and their doctor reassured them – they weren’t alone. Almost half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage and this doesn’t necessarily bear any implication on how much luck they’ll have in trying to have children in the future.
But another three years later, in 2010, Stacey miscarried for the third time. And then her father passed away. And then Chad was diagnosed with testicular cancer – twice.
There was intense fear that the disease and its treatment would no longer allow him to father any children or even live out the rest of his life. The Bakers decided to preserve some of their embryos, just in case.
"There was a lot of depression," Stacey recalled. "All that was going on in our life was cancer and infertility — for years."
Just as the Bakers were beginning to lose hope for their family-oriented future, their current four-legged child, their black Labrador, Daisy, led them to an unexpected solution.
The Bakers’ dog-sitter, Summer Marnin, began working with the family in 2013, just after the family had decided to stop trying for children. Marnin heard about the family’s wrought history, and then sent Stacey an unexpected text: “How old is too old to be a surrogate?”
Marnin, a single mother, wanted to help the Bakers have their first child by being their gestational carrier; she would be implanted with the Bakers’ preserved embryos.
On the eve of Marnin’s IVF procedure, she decided to be implanted with two of the Bakers’ three embryos. It was a decision that ultimately proved to have incredible foresight. Because in spring 2014, Marnin miscarried one of the twins.
At that fateful doctor’s appointment, Stacey recalled the joy of learning they would finally, finally have a son – and also the grief of having tried and waited for eight years to hear this simple news.
In August 2014, the Bakers were rewarded with their first child, Gavin. Marnin remembered at the hospital, feeling like the long, emotional pregnancy had been completely and utterly worthwhile when she glanced over at Stacey, “and Stacey had him in the rocking chair and had her son in her arms. ... That was my favorite part.”
For Stacey, the best part was simply being told that she was finally a mom.
A couple years after Gavin was born, the Bakers were suddenly faced with the question of what they would do with their third and final embryo that remained at the fertility clinic. Marnin had very gently declined their request to serve as their gestational carrier again, as she as almost 40 years old and had her own children to tend to.
The Bakers were, once again, left with little hope.
But then Chad went to get his hair cut, and during the appointment, he mentioned his struggle to his stylist – who then mentioned it to a friend during a nail appointment later that day. This friend, Tiffany Kiernan, wanted to know if she could ever provide her help by being the family’s second gestational carrier.
The Bakers were thrilled at the prospect, and they ended up meeting Kiernan beforehand. Both parties wanted to ensure they liked and trusted the other in this incredibly emotional process.
There was no need for concern. Everyone clicked, and soon enough, Kiernan was pregnant with the Baker’s second child, a daughter.
Although daughter Hadley decided to arrive in the world about three weeks sooner than expected, everything at the hospital felt like it was “meant to be, and it was perfect.”
Now, the Baker clan has expanded from three (Chad, Stacey, and pup Daisy) to an unexpected, huge clan of extended family. Both children have photos of their gestational carriers in their respective bedrooms and there is always family flowing in and out of the Baker house.
Though both Stacey and Chad are often exhausted at all the activity, they couldn’t be happier and wouldn’t trade it for the world.
